Your dog is not that smart

People. Put your F'ing dog on a leash. There are laws saying you have to have your dog on a leash. Your dog is not the worlds greatest dog and apparently can't control all carnal desires to either sniff my dogs ass or bite my dogs throat. My dog has never been attacked by a dog on a leash but has been approached several times by dogs not teathered to their owners. Obviousley you don't have your dog trained all that well if you can't keep it by your side and out of my way. If I am this pissed just think about all the people who don't even like dogs. I am a dog lover but a will kick fido if I have too!

Boomin Granny

OK, OK Old women everywhere! Enough with the perfume! I can not handle the gallons and gallons of "glamorous" scent that you wear. While working out at work with Lora a couple of Saturdays ago I was nearly brought to my knees by a older women sporting a rather formidable scent. As I was trying to finish my last mile I was engulfed with a deluge of perfume that I can only assume was very popular amongst the finest of working women in Paris during the same year the Eiffel tower was erected for the worlds fair. Unfortunately this is not an isolated inced ant. When you can not smell your delicious, greasy Mongolian beef cooking because Bea Arthur is stinking up the whole restaurant...we have a problem!
I consider myself well versed in almost all topics but this is an issue that has puzzled me for some time now. Is this display of reckless use of perfume merely a carryover from the post world war II boom? Or do our olfactory bulbs shrink just like our old bodies. I don't get it. There are 2 reasons that old ladies smell: Moth balls and wayyy too much f'n perfume. I hope that generations of women to come do not loose their sense of smell and start pouring the White Diamonds on everything deemed unfit for human noses necessary. I just can't take the "Essence of Old" anymore!

A Positive Rant...for once.

I am not going to complain at all during this post just a list of things I am really enjoying at the moment. OK, well I might complain a little. I am a little upset that I haven't seen any live music in a long time. For those of you who know me you know that I am an avid fan of music with the exception being Country.
1. I am loving Amazon.com Everything is so much cheaper. If you find something you love, anything, more than likely you will find it cheaper on Amazon.
2. My snow blower. I think it still may be broken because I have to go backwards for it to work properly but it still beats the hell out of shoveling my widow maker of a driveway.
3. This stuff is awesome! Just add water shake and poor. You have pancakes quicker than you could ever imagine.
4.Lean red meat, medium rare.
5. A list of songs that I can't get enough.

Psychotic Girl by the Black Keys
Electric Feel by MGMT
On Tour With Zykos by Okkervil River
Black Mags by The Cool Kids
Boulevard by Dick Prall (from Des Moines now in Chicago and will perform in DSM in April)
It's a Curse by Wolf Parade
Pip Pip by The Envy Corps (from Des Moines)

Hopefully anyone of these bands will be playing the 80/35 festival in Des Moines this summer.

Just so this post is not all warm and fuzzy. February SUCKS! I rank it 13th of all the months. We get it it's winter. Lets move on!

A Realization

My first car looked just like this and almost as good...
Until a giant maple tree fell on it and ruined it.

I have come to the conclusion that there is a major cause of stress in my life that needs to be resolved. My car sucks and almost all my cars before it have sucked! I have come to this epiphany after more than just the thought that I don't like my car so I need a new one. I need a new car...my life depends on it! Some of the negative effects of stress (headaches,constipation,diarrhea,lack of energy,increased frequency in asthma and arthritis,tension,stomach cramping,stomach bloating,epidermal flare ups or inflammation,weight fluctuation,heart problems,high blood pressure,irritable bowel syndrome,diabetes, neck and back pain)
For those of you who know me know that I am not a very high strung person. I am not easily agitated. If I were stressed or pushed over the edge easily I am afraid I would already be dead just upon judging from my luck or lack there of. One of the few things that causes me stress in my day to day is my car, and I didn't even realize it until today. The constant worry or frustration my car causes me daily is slowly crippling me. Here is a rundown of the days events which cause such a health concern.

• My drivers side window does not work (it is cold out and the window gradually slides open)
  

• My radio has a tendency to short out (it is brand new I replaced the old one)

• I just recently had a flat tire which caused me to spend Xmas money to repair the front set.

• My ABS light is on.

• My antenna is broken, not allowing a clear A.M. signal and only a partial F.M. signal.

• I am leaking Anti Freeze ( I have already replaced the radiator)

• My car has 165,000 miles on it (something else is bound to go wrong)

And if the stress of this car weren't enough this is just one of many "Pieces" I have owned

• 66th Plymouth Fury(64,000mi) 1st car and probably the best but brakes gave out on campus while dropping Lora off, slightly embarrassing. Did I mention an F'ing tree fell on it! resulting in a gold door on a silver car.

• 90 Buick Regal(100,000) piece of shit had for about 2 yrs transmission went out I donated to D.U. for free.

• 91 Toyota Camry (124000 mi.)bought from Lora's dad this car was trusty as long as it didn't rain! And it was beat to hell thanks to my lovely wife.

• 93 Camry my current car

As you can see I have had almost 12 years of stress inducing automobile ownership it is time for a change! I need my taxes so I can buy a new car. Not brand new just better. My Life Depends On It!!!!!!

“Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.”
- Russell Baker

Save The Obama Drama For Your Baby Momma

The man whom I turned my back on.
Look at that tie too

I am starting the blog. I think it could do me good to get some of these issues off of my chest. So enough of the cliche' "this is why I am blogging" crap and on to the real issue at hand.
I need to discuss the new president Barack Obama. I agree that it is a huge moment in U.S. history that we have just elected our first black president. BUT let us move on from the fact that he is black and not Bush. Since November I have had a feeling that something is not quite right. You see, I voted for Mr. Obama but I am a republican. I felt almost ashamed after voting for Obama after betraying the groundwork set in place by a young Alex P. Keaton. I am a young "Reaganite" but abandoned those Ideals for the more exciting candidate. It is only now as I find myself nearly drowning in an ocean of Obama inaugural tears that I can see the truth! Believe me. I want Obama to succeed. I want America to recover but after 2 weeks Obama has shown me nothing more than the same old "crap" that Washington has to offer. An appended laundry list of complaints:

1."No Lobbyists" his transition team was loaded with lobbyists and now the man Timothy Geithner wants as his top aid is a lobbyist for Goldman Sachs.
2. Timothy Geithner is guilty of a felony for tax evasion. But has been appointed to one of the more important positions in Washington.
3. This "Stimulus" Package is not a stimulus at all. Until public outcry the bill include funding for things like govt cars, Sod, Birth control.
4. The money used for the Stimulus is our money not Washington's. And there is empirical evidence that no matter how hard you try to spend your way out of a recession you can't!
5. Maybe the most disturbing one for me. In the bill there is 145 billion for health care which pushes the agenda of socialized health care. I disagree with this very much but that is not the point. The point is the pres is pushing this through an emergency stimulus bill. "Pork" which he also promised wouldn't happen!

Sorry for this Political rant. I promise that future posts will be a little less dry.

"You cannot build a reputation on what you are going to do" - Henry Ford